Market Mad House

In individuals, insanity is rare; but in groups, parties, nations and epochs, it is the rule. Friedrich Nietzsche

My Thoughts

What can Jeff Bezos do with $130 Billion?

Amazon CEO Jeff Bezos was worth $129.9 billion on 15 February 2020, Forbes estimates. Consequently, Bezos is the world’s richest man even after his divorce.

Bezos’ good fortune begs the question what will Jeff do with all that money? Here at Lists of Doom we have a few thoughts on how Bezos could spend all that money.

How Jeff Bezos could spend his $130 Billion

  • Build a warp-capable starship to return to Ferenginar; the Ferengi home world. Once home, Bezos can finalize Earth’s acquisition by the Ferengi Empire.
  • Expand Amazon Prime to other solar systems.
  • Buy all the brick and mortar stores in the United States, Canada, and the United Kingdom and shut them down.
  • Pay off America’s national debt by donating a few shares of Amazon (NASDAQ: AMZN) stock to the U.S. Treasury.
  • Open the first Amazon Fulfillment Center on Mars.
  • Buy Mars from Elon Musk. Bezos could use Mars as the location for the first planet-sized Amazon Fulfillment Center.
  • Build super weapons to kill all the superheroes.
  • Finally kill that pesky James Bond guy who keeps thwarting his evil plans.
  • Buy the United States Postal Service (USPS), Canada Post, and the Royal Mail so he can transform all post offices into Amazon Go locations. Note: most people will not care because they could finally get their mail on time.
  • Open Amazon Fulfillment Centers in other solar systems.
  • Buy a country, probably India, to transform into the world’s largest fulfillment center. Amazon’s lawyers inform us that the tax advantages of owning a country are huge. Plus, possessing nuclear weapons and an army will make negotiations with national governments easier.

Note: Bezos’ plans will only come to fruition if he can avoid paying taxes. However, when we questioned him, Jeff admitted he has never paid taxes in his life and has never considered the possibility.